Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Scenery Description
The coconut trees cast long sinewy shadows on the pale sand, their leaves swaying to and fro, and the bushes beneath them supporting them from ever falling down. The calm blue seemed to extend indefinitely, with thin ripples all over, like an old woman's face. The ever-blue sky was paled out by the clouds, going on to mix in with the blue waters, blurring out the horizon. All seemed so still, so lifeless, yet small movements continued, on and on and on and on...
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Very good! I like the way you described your scene. I especially like your usage of the words such as "sinewy", and the way you said "on and on and on and on..." (: good job and keep trying!
ReplyDeleteI think you should break the first sentence into 2 sentences instead of joining them together using commas and stuff. The simile of an old woman's face was very good. The ending part creates the idea of suspense so that the reader would continue reading and won't stop reading.
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